How Dare You Not Like Me!



I understand that sometimes two people don’t gel. And I know I’m far from perfect but I pride myself in the ability to get along with pretty much everyone. I have friends across the spectrum from old ladies who turn to alcohol to 20 year olds who discuss celebrity gossip. I know some people have a few layers to peel back before they succumb to my charms but I cannot stand when someone refuses to get to know me at all. Here is the story of one unlucky woman who will never know the joys of my friendship.


            My husband and mine’s first apartment was in a nice townhouse community. The houses were set up in courts where 30 homes were arranged in a circle with a parking lot in the middle, (Doesn’t everyone just want to gaze out their front door onto a large slab of concrete?)
            Well when we first moved in we didn’t really get any neighborly love. It was my first home and I was expecting a neighbor to knock on my door and bring me some fresh baked pie. Unfortunately that never happened. In fact we didn’t get many people over to say hi at all. I figured since we were renters in an owner occupied community there was a little less love for the transient folk. 
            Then I noticed there were two young couples living in our court. One a few doors down from us and another couple across the court. I rarely saw the one on my side but I always saw the couple across the way walking their dog.  I’m an avid waver and anytime I went by in the car I enthusiastically waved but they never waved back. Most of the time I figured they didn’t see me but after awhile I realized they were just really antisocial. 
            After a few months I saw a giant cardboard stork announcing a baby girl’s birth at the neighbor on my side’s house. I was so excited to see this since I was 9 months pregnant with my own girl. After I had Ali I wanted to walk over there with Dan to say hello but knocking on stranger’s doors isn’t really Dan’s thing. Eventually I saw the husband walking with the baby and he said hello and we introduced our daughters. She was probably the ugliest baby I had ever seen but I was so excited to be speaking with my neighbor.
            Then one day the man was out walking his girl and my anti-social female neighbor from across the way yelled “Oh what a good dad!” out her kitchen window to my new friend. What? She speaks to him but just not to me? How dare she …and who yells out the window? What, were you raised in a barn?
            Anyway one morning I woke up and found a very nasty note on my door that read “If you touch my S%$# again Ill break your F*#(!% nose” OF course on reading this note I immediately started crying and ran to my fathers house and called the police.  The police couldn’t do much and assured me it was probably for the wrong house considering Dan and I don’t touch anyone’s S&^%.
            When Dan came home that night I was nice and calm. I saw the anti-social couple walking their dogs and immediately ran out the house to see if they had seen anything. I’m literally waving my hands in the air yelling “Hi, excuse me ... excuse me …” They both ran… I mean literally ran into their house without making eye contact. I thought they must be deaf. I went up to their door and before I got to their stoop the husband waked out of the house to greet me. So they did hear me huh? I introduced myself and Dan, (Dan had no part in this display across the parking lot, he was still standing in our door way and when I gestured to him and he gave an embarrassed wave from our doorway) I told my neighbor my story and he informed me that kids usually hang out around my unit and maybe they did it. At no point did his wife come to the door to introduce herself. The guy didn’t even mention that he had a female living in his house. Did they think I was a Jehovah’s Witness? I was more annoyed by this woman than my threatening letter.

After the note we decided not to renew our lease. This was over 2 years ago and I’m still offended by this mystery bitches actions. Ill never know her name but I secretly hope she accidentally touches someone’s s%4# and they break her F%6&$ nose.